When it comes to personal growth, the line between confidence and arrogance can feel razor-thin. Many people search for ways to “build confidence” or “avoid arrogance,” or “the difference between confidence and arrogance.” If you’ve found yourself googling those phrases, you’re not alone. What seems like nuance between the two has sparked creative minds for decades, bringing depth to movies and games. Let’s take a look at how these two traits show up in the critically acclaimed video game Horizon Zero Dawn, through its two central characters, Aloy and Sylens, to help identify the key differences between them.

What Is Confidence?

Confidence is a quiet, steady belief in oneself and one’s abilities, paired with a willingness to learn, adapt, and collaborate. In Horizon Zero Dawn, this idea is exemplified in Aloy. Orphaned and outcast, Aloy grows up with limited resources but an insatiable curiosity. Her confidence isn’t manufactured — it’s earned through experience, resilience, and a genuine desire to understand the world around her.

Aloy listens. She learns from every tribe, every machine, every ruin. Her confidence allows her to walk into unfamiliar territories, challenge powerful leaders, and still remain grounded enough to admit when she doesn’t have all the answers.

Because true confidence is rooted in humility and growth. It understands it’s capabilities because it sees its limitations and need for support from others.

What Is Arrogance?

Arrogance, on the other hand, is often fueled by insecurity masked with bravado. It’s an inflated sense of self-importance that rejects feedback and overestimates one’s own abilities. Enter Sylens: a brilliant but self-absorbed scholar who’s convinced of his superior intellect.

While Sylens is undoubtedly smart, his arrogance keeps him from seeing the value of others’ insights. This results in him using people as pawns, believing he alone can uncover the secrets of the ancient world. His unwillingness to trust or admit fault leads to isolation and questionable choices.

Arrogance seeks to use others for personal gain. Designating ones self as superior because of knowledge or skill leads to a loss of value of others.

The Key Differences

• Confidence accepts uncertainty, but arrogance fears it.
• Confidence seeks to uplift others; arrogance tends to diminishes them.
• Confidence grows with learning, while arrogance becomes stagnant.

Aloy’s journey demonstrates how embracing vulnerability and curiosity can build true strength. Sylens, on the other hand, illustrates us how clinging to superiority leads to mistrust and loneliness.

How This Applies to You

In our own lives, it’s easy to mistake bravado for confidence, or let insecurity disguise itself as arrogance. Recognizing the difference matters — especially if you’re trying to build genuine confidence that empowers both you and those around you.

The good news? Confidence can be learned, practiced, and leveled up — much like Aloy in Horizon Zero Dawn. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Ready to Build Confidence Like Aloy?

If you’re looking to boost your confidence in an authentic, grounded way — and you happen to love gaming — check out my TTRPG-based Confidence Coaching program. It’s designed to help you embrace the kind of confidence that grows, evolves, and makes space for others. Plus, it’s fun, grounded in science, and affordable, too.