The Dangers of Normalizing Mental Health
The difference between common and normal didn’t really hit me until I had my son. I remember texting my doula in a bit of a panic because he hadn’t pooped in days. I’d Googled it, of course—like every modern parent—and was flooded with forums, blogs, and articles reassuring me it was normal. But my doula, with the calm wisdom of someone who’s seen it all, quickly clarified:
“It’s common,” she said. “But it’s not normal.”
That moment stuck with me—and not just because I was obsessively monitoring diapers. It reframed how I think about a lot of things we lump together under the label of “normal.” Especially mental health.
What We Talk About When We Say “Normalize Mental Health”
It’s become a mantra: “We need to normalize mental health struggles.” The intention is good—we want people to feel less ashamed of anxiety, depression, trauma, and all the quiet chaos we carry inside. But here’s the problem: normalizing something implies it’s healthy or expected. It suggests we should learn to live with it, even accept it as the baseline.
But some things shouldn’t be normal.
It might be common to feel like you’re not good enough, to battle panic attacks, or to cry in secret after keeping it together all day—but that doesn’t mean it’s normal for the human nervous system to be operating in a constant state of dysregulation. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t seek support, or that this is just “how life is.”
When We Say It’s Normal, People Stop Seeking Help
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one in five adults in the U.S. lives with a mental illness. That’s millions of people. But only about half of them receive treatment.
Why? Because too often, people believe their suffering is just part of being an adult. Or worse—they believe seeking help makes them weak, broken, or “not enough.” Men in particular are socialized to believe that emotions signal a lack of strength. In fact, research shows that over 60% of men with mental health issues never seek professional help.
So when we normalize pain, we inadvertently teach people to tolerate it in silence.
A Brief History of Silence and Stigma
Historically, mental health was shrouded in shame and mystery. In ancient times, mental illness was often attributed to spiritual possession or moral failure. In the Middle Ages, people were locked away in asylums for conditions we now recognize as treatable. Even into the 20th century, diagnoses like “hysteria” were used to dismiss and control women who didn’t conform to social norms (although this did result in the creation of vibrators, so at least something positive came from it).
We’ve come a long way since then—but the stigma lingers in subtler ways. Instead of being cast out, people now just feel isolated in a crowd. We might not say “crazy” out loud anymore, but we still whisper when we talk about seeing a therapist.
What We Should Be Doing: Commonizing, Not Normalizing
Let’s stop telling people their anxiety or depression is “normal.” Let’s tell them it’s common. That distinction leaves room for curiosity, compassion, and change. It tells people:
You’re not alone in this.
It’s okay to feel how you feel.
And—most importantly—you don’t have to stay here.
Making mental health commonplace validates them, while still holding space for healing and transformation. It encourages support-seeking behavior. It reminds people that while their struggle might be shared, it’s not something they’re meant to endure forever.
Words Matter—And This One Matters A Lot
It might feel like a small linguistic difference, but shifting from normalize to commonize reframes everything. It keeps us from settling. It invites people to hope.
Mental health struggles are real. They’re widespread. And they deserve care, not complacency.
Let’s create a culture where we don’t accept emotional suffering as status quo—but instead offer each other the tools, support, and language to move through it.
Let’s stop normalizing mental health struggles—and start commonizing the conversation around them.
